I'm still alive...

....just in case anyone was wondering. Although I'm starting to wonder if anybody's reading my blog anyway :) 

     I don't usually make New Years resolutions, because {as my cousin says} if there's something I need to be doing, I need to start now. However, if a resolution happens to fall on the first day of the New Year...well...call it what you like. My "New Year Resolution" was to start posting more often. Because this blog gives me extra incentive to keep pressing on and doing what I know I should be doing. You can see how well that's worked out ;) The first month isn't even over though, so all hope is not lost. Yet.

     I'm just gonna touch on some things that have been happening in my life lately, and what God's been teaching me...

     Christmas Break was amazing. It didn't end so great, but that was because I wasn't really "getting" what God has been trying to show me for awhile now. So, I've rededicated my life to Him and I'm working on completely relinquishing control to His mighty hand. Surrender is hard, and it's most definitely not a one-time thing. Daily...hourly...minutely...the battle is raging.

     Our Christmas play is a perfect example of His gentle correction. Due to so many other things going on during the month of December, the teen's play was pushed back to January 8th. The weekend rolled around, and we still had not had a single practice with everyone together. I felt like all the parts were there, though, and that putting the pieces together should not be a big deal. Well...Sunday morning, I received the information that two of the main characters were sick. Uh-oh. So, I enlisted the help of my invaluable assistant, and she agreed to memorize lines that afternoon and play one part, and I was to take the other. That left me with nobody to do lights. Then my cousin stepped up and offered to come early to learn the ropes and be the tech guy. Not the ideal situation, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Now, I was supposed to be managing props and everything else backstage, but I wasn't really concerned about that, because I had someone who knew where everything was and when scene changes were supposed to happen...then I found out that he had been injured in a basketball game that Saturday and couldn't walk. At this point, I was wondering if we really should keep trying to do this thing and seriously considering just calling it all off. Nothing was coming together like I had planned, and things I was so sure of were falling apart and slipping through my fingers.

   After much deliberation, I decided to "just keep swimming," determining that if we were doing this for the right reasons, God would use it for His glory. So, we decided on meeting an hour and a half early that evening to go over everything before our performance. Well...a few minutes after I arrive at the church, I realize that I had completely forgotten to ask our choir director about playing the piano. I can play the songs...but since I was acting now, that wasn't going to work. Miraculously, she arrived early and cheerfully agreed to play. Another prayer answered. Practice was...interesting, and far from perfect - we hadn't been through the whole play a single time before our performance. But this whole thing was in God's hands now...I had finally let it go...and it's amazing what He can do. Oh, and someone filmed the whole thing...so here 'tis, for any of you who care to see: 

   Don't make the same mistakes I have and try to control everything. Oh, this brings to mind one of my favorite hymns... "Channels Only"

How I praise Thee, precious Savior,

That Thy love laid hold of me;

Thou hast saved and cleansed and filled me

That I might Thy channel be.

Chorus:

Channels only, blessed Master,

But with all Thy wondrous power

Flowing through us, Thou canst use us

Every day and every hour.

Just a channel full of blessing,

To the thirsty hearts around;

To tell out Thy full salvation

All Thy loving message sound.

Emptied that Thou shouldest fill me,

A clean vessel in Thy hand;

With no power but as Thou givest

Graciously with each command.

Wtnessing Thy power to save me,

Setting free from self and sin;

Thou who boughtest to possess me

In Thy fullness, Lord, come in.

Jesus, fill now with Thy Spirit

Hearts that full surrender know;

That the streams of living water

From our inner self may flow.